I don’t think I’ll have have to start with the typical paragraphs noting ‘I’m fine here and hope that you’re fine there too’ we both know, at this moment, we both are fine than ever.
Charlie, I was thinking if you still remember? The day when we first spoke? The profile pictures we had then? How I estimated you to be young like me and you, me to be older like you? Stupid discussions about what I would call you: brother? Friend? Stranger? The picture of my school ID which I sent you as a proof of the school level I read at? My dad’s phone number you had mistaken to be mine and me calling a stranger dialing wrong number thinking its you? The first time we met? The clothes we wore then? The routes we walked? The words we exchanged? The first video we took together which was spoiled by my shyness? And above all the ‘Maamaa chauchau’ I offered? Well, I remember it all…
Charlie, it was a always a wonder about how it’d be when love arrived, if the background would welcome the songs from my favorite playlist? if the leaves would flatter and fly as the wind blew through my face? and if it’d have been a beautiful coincidence to have met you when I was in one the best days of my life? I always wondered if it’s be something we’d feel out of sheer curiosity? love at first sight? or would we earn it giving some time?
I also wondered how my love looked like? would he be tall, handsome sporty-man? did he know how to play guitar? or know how to paint? would he be interested in literature like I was?would he love travelling like I did? would he be extroverted like I was? would he be a family-person? or would he have values like I have?
And when ‘you’-my love arrived, the background music was from my favorite playlist, the flowers certainly surrounded me but the printed ones. Yes! the ones from my room’s curtain, I had found you in the most unexpected place; the internet! When you arrived, I wasn’t high in happiness or in pretty makeup but later I realized, it was the best part of falling for each other, because, you embraced the mess I was, you didn’t seek for the the outer appearances nor you were a perfectionist. You said me things which I never bothered letting myself spill, but, but- you weren’t that tall or definition of ‘handsome’ nor you were an extrovert. You were a reserved person but nonetheless ,you knew how to converse words and damn! anybody could fall for that. You were so different than what I expected but I later realized that whatever I dreamed of was too much to ask from a person and none of the expectations mattered, as in fact, those were those push forces which pulled ‘You’ and ‘I’ together.
Today, I have decided to include the small part of letter I wrote long ago, actually, the day after we first met. “”When you said you arrived at my place, I ran off with an empty hand but heart full of overwhelming emotions and small amount of time. After I reached half way with only one sufficient thing with me – “”excuses to make to mom””, I realized that I had left handful of things at home which I had sacredly saved for you but it was no turning back because if I had, I would be dead by then, xD. I realized that I was in my stupid school track but none of them matter as at that moment, it wasn’t about me or you but ‘us’ and all I craved for that moment was to see you.
To be honest, today I don’t remember the time, the date, the month, the clothe you wore or the type of hair cut you had. I don’t remember if your eyes sparked as you saw me standing infront of you, all I remember for now is that I was full of words yet I had nothing to say but so much to express. How could I ever lie about loving you? Those goosebumps, paranoia and butterflies in stomach? If it were just about looks, it could have been. If it were wealth, it could have been.Or, if it were about feeling superior than other, it could have been but no! It was about nothing but just ‘us’ and then period. I don’t remember being so lost, unfocused and dedicated towards something at the same time.
Charlie, for me it wasn’t about a kiss, a hug, a touch, warmth, smile or even a look but just the presence of your presence that lifted into a whole new state of mind that gave me a sense of eternal salvation.””
Charlie, this is the kind of letter I had been willing to write since long and I think this is the perfect time, in the month of love. Perhaps, this is the first Valentine’s we are going to celebrate together and we both know, times like this are what makes all the aching fruitful and worthwhile. Now just some more days and we shall walk all the streets of my hometown holding hand without any fear. P.S. it was months ago that I had decided of the dress I’d wear and “veteko bela vanxu” stories I have to unfold when you’re here.
With much love and all the blessings the world could offer,
Question answer with Shreya
1. Tell us more about you.
Shreya Gautam. A 9th grader who would call herself one among thousand dreamers who is easily drawn by fantasies and loves to explore new things.
2. What was your thought when you apply to Wordism competition?
I had this sheer curiosity of being mentioned because being heard is what keeps me going.
3. What are your dreams and aspiration?
I dream to become a successful writer, influencing speaker and an artist creating impacts. I aspire to become a woman without regrets of not trying when I lie in my deathbed.
4. How do you feel being the Wordism Runner Up of Magh
I have this feeling of great gratitude towards YL Nepal for deeming my words deserving to one of the Runner Ups. The joy of being counted among one those wonderful people who have shared their words has kept me from keeping my feet on the ground.
5. Anything you want to say about who is reading this!
Vincent Van Gogh once wrote to his brother, “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. And great things are not accidental, but must certainly be willed.”
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