I get angry and irritated very fast. Please Help!

FEMALE, Age: 17 years

PROBLEM

Hello. I am 17 years old and I am noticing a lots of change in me during some months. I am really irritated and become angry very fast.

Mainly when people say that girls are nothing, they can do nothing, Boys are everything, Boys can do anything, as if Boys have license to anything else with girls.

I really get angry with the thoughts for girls of the society. For example, People say that girls should avoid their wants and wishes in the contests of clothes. Why don’t they say to their sons that they should respect the girls and stop thinking negative.

People say to their daughters that don’t do those things that makes your prestige in danger, but why don’t people say to their sons that don’t play with a girl’s prestige. I have listened about the acid attacks in many places, which makes me more angrier than anything. I become so much angry that i cant control myself. Please HELP!!!

SOLUTION

Thank you for your query. You have beautifully explained your problem. You are in a very special age because it is this age that has a huge impact in our later life.

And it is quiet understandable and in fact quiet common to have the burst of anger and irritation in this time period. It is a very common phenomenon. Don’t get surprised or confused by this change. If you can acknowledge that these changes are obvious then half of the problem will be solved.

When you experience these intense emotions you can release them through positive behaviors like talking to your close friend, writing, drawing, dancing or whatever fancies you. It is amazing that you decided to share your problem with us too. When you share your problems then it will help you to feel better.

The most important thing to remember here is that everyone feels various emotions in life but how you react to those emotions differentiates you from the rest of the people.

Understanding your anger and irritation will help you to understand what lies deep inside it. Do you get irritated by small things which are not in your control like traffic, crowds, loadshedding, long classes, some annoying people? If you can’t control any of those things then there is no point in getting angry and wasting your time. Instead, find a way to not let yourself get affected. For example: When you are stuck in a heavy traffic, make yourself busy counting number of people wearing same colors dress or may be talking to the person next to you, listening music, reading all the hoarding boards in the road etc. 🙂

Also, Meditation and Yoga are prove ways to calm your mind and feel peaceful. Trying that everyday will definitely help you to be more calmer person.

You mentioned that the source for your anger and irritation mainly arise from the society’s perception of boys and girls. Well that anger can be good sometimes.

Think how you can use your anger in constructive way for women empowerment, changing mindset of people and starting it from yourself and your home.

Infact, many angry people have channeled their anger on the injustice to the mission of their lives to eradicate them and hence we have been enjoying more rights these days.

Many legendary people who have created huge impacts in the society were initially angry and frustrated about many things around their society. And they started seeking solutions, started making impacts.

We are not suggesting you to start being activist leaving everything from tomorrow but we are actually reminding you that there can be a positive transformation of the anger.

And you know what you are special and matured person for your age already because you are aware about the problems in the society. Not everyone has that quality or ability to realize the problems, instead many choose to follow all the rules created by the society without asking for valid reason.

Next time when you are angry and frustrated, try to do something constructive. The way you live your life being an empowered, inspiring girl can also influence many of the other girls around. Change in the society will take time. It is because of the people like you who are aware and question unjustified norms of the society, can transform the society.

If you have time for volunteering then find women rights organization where you can always volunteer and help them. This could be one of your first step towards creating equal world for boys and girls.

All the best girl.